Cover letter
February 19, 2020
Dear Editor,
I am a Nigerian writer and slush reader who is studying law in the University of Lagos, Nigeria.
Please find attached, my 6,732 word horror short story. I thank you for your time and consideration, and look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Oghenechovwe Donald Ekpeki
PS: as an aside, I was wondering and didn't want to add something so silly to the main body of my cover letter. It's silly really. The worries of a newbie writer. I heard that your magazine is the greatest horror magazine and will only publish the greatest horror story at a time, and in the lifetime of the published writer, will publish no other story, until the accepted writer expires. Also, that should a story be accepted, the current story is deleted and the displaced writer dies. What is worse, I heard that all those rejected by your magazine also die. This is of course all just silly rumours. I notice that your magazine only has one story on it, despite its ridiculously high pay rate of a hundred thousand dollars per story. These are just the silly worries of a newbie writer, and your standards are probably just high. I figure you can't pay many writers with the pay rate what it is. Feel free to ignore my ridiculous query. Unless of course you want to respond to clarify that they are indeed, just rumours.
INBOX
February 20 2020
Dear Oghenechovwe,
Good morning. I would like to allay your fears that what you have heard are rumours, but I cannot. We do take what we do here very seriously, as storytelling is a life and death matter. You saw our pay rates. We are committed to paying handsomely for the best horror story existing in the world at any moment. And should we fail to pay the funds, we pay in other ways.
Sincerely,
The editors,
The Magazine of Horror
OUTBOX
March 19 2020
Dear Editors,
It's exactly one month and I am now wondering what the status of my submission is. Do let me know if it's being seriously considered and when I may hear back from you.
PS: the tone of your last message, your response to my questions was really spooky. But I appreciate the humour of it, from a horror magazine such as yourself.
Sincerely,
Oghenechovwe
INBOX
March 21 2020
Dear Oghenechovwe,
Good morning. I would like to inform you that your story is indeed under consideration. But we lost two members of our staff to untimely death. Our slush reader and submissions editor just passed, immediately after passing your story on to me. We have logged your story into the under consideration pile. Funny I use the word pile, as it's the only one there. You'll be hearing from us soon, in one way or another.
As an aside, do you think you want to perhaps withdraw the story? Just putting out there that it's allowed. If you think there's a better venue for you or if it's accepted elsewhere. You need only notify us. Cool? Thanks. Take care.
Regards,
The Editor,
The Magazine of Horror
OUTBOX
April 26 2020
Dear Editor,
Good afternoon.
My condolences on the loss and untimely death of your slush reader and your submissions editor. Meanwhile about your aside, what did you mean you want to know if I am willing to consider withdrawing my story? I just want to say that I am comfortable and okay doing whatever it takes to get an acceptance in your magazine. Do let me know if the corrections I have made are sufficient. I look foward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Oghenechovwe
INBOX
July 19 2020.
Dear Oghenechovwe,
Good morning. Sorry for the late response. I am the new editor in chief. The old one passed away shortly after logging in your story as an acceptance and before notifying you. Congrats.
I had to dig around a bit for the fine print of what to do. It says here that the contract will be delivered personally by "the rider and his pale horse." I chuckled at that. They do love dramatics here. Still, personal delivery, that's odd. It says that no place is beyond the reach of the pale rider, not even the beyond.
I suppose that's it. I have followed all other instructions, on how to activate a dispatch, unorthodox as they were. So I suppose you shall be hearing from this pale rider. Oh, and they spoke of some final test. Assessment by the rider to ascertain if the writer is as worthy as his story. An old tradition. The rider will bear both the "prize and price" and deliver both, depending on the worthiness of the writer.
Not sure what that means, but it's probably an old-fashioned way of checking your personal info, and story, for plagiarism, or just more dramatics. Do let me know if you are contacted and we can move on to fixing a publication date.
Sincerely,
The Editor,
The Magazine of Horror
A young writer sat in front of his computer in his self-contained apartment in Abule-Oja, the student community of the University of Lagos. A very electric thrill ran through him, a feeling of unquantifiable euphoria. For he had just finished reading an acceptance letter. Not just any acceptance, not even just one from a pro magazine, but one from the greatest horror magazine certifying him the greatest horror writer alive. Along with a monetary prize of a hundred thousand dollars. The grand lottery of short stories. The unusual terms and requirements did not dim his joy, but added to it. His excitement, though not dimmed, was mixed. Euphoria and trepidation. A rider, delivering the contract and payment, a final test …
His breathing increased with the sound of hooves on the ground outside his door, a slow canter. No way a horse was in Abule-Oja. But he heard the unmistakable whinny of one. The scrape of something sharp, like a scythe on the cement as the rider dismounted. His eyes widened in terror as the door swung open to reveal his dispatch. He could never have imagined …
