(I will be
cold as thought
hot as light
deep as sin
and doubly–full
like a coin of Sun and Moon)
There is alchemy within
there is movement without;
I am to decant thunder from my blood,
Sum ergo cogito,
I am a blade of grass that cuts the earth,
the birth of life
from within dead things
Give me berries and give me stardust,
the heat at the cold center of the universe
There is alchemy within
there are demons without;
My blood births thundersharp pain
carried within me like a token of love.
I am of no proper form,
not man or woman,
not hot, not cold,
just here
centered inside me
like the first thought ever, sparking into being
Give me needles and give me light,
the shape at the other side of every mirror
There is alchemy within
there are chains without;
The blood is broken, thunderscreams
without lightning,
my thoughts folded like winds
and sad like wrong seams;
I am made for unmaking,
ready to be parted and woven again,
but also made for breaking
with not one part that will fit like it does now
with the scars that come with weaving
Give me a mouth to hold my heart,
the cold and warmth that’s mixed inside each drop of blood
There is alchemy within
there is alchemy without
I am the crucible that holds all shape
like they are one shape
I burn, but I don’t burn
cold, but not still.
Hold me in the words you speak,
carry me in song, hum, melody
and watch my form be no–shape,
see that it’s all–shape.
Give me thought draped in memory,
the blistered lie at the heart of every truth
(The coolness
the heat
the depth of me
is always doubly full
never runs empty
just like the seams that hold
the universe together
in all her
twice–won
beauty.)
